But Where Does The Flap Go?

But where does the Flap go?

Ok, I am sure you are thinking where is her thinking going? AND what in the world is she talking about?

My dear readers, after all these years of using toilet sets in public places, I asked myself the question of where does the flap go and have I been using it correctly or incorrectly all these years.

I really do try to ovoid going into public restrooms because….well just because (you fill in the blank)!

However, after saying that….I was in Macy’s the other day and all of a sudden I felt the need for speed, if you know what I mean.

 

 

Admittedly, I never learned Calculus, nor have I ever charted the return of a space module back into the earth’s atmosphere, so the difficulty of placing a sanitary sheet of tissue thin paper on the lid of the Loo apparently is an almost equal endeavor.

Ok, I exaggerate a bit.

Ok, more than just a bit, but friends….there are no instructions that explain HOW to remove a single sheet of tissue paper from the dispenser without removing 6 or 8 of these fragile tissues, … let alone where and how to place ONE tissue on said lid.

True, some dispensers do instruct the user by saying… “pull up, pull down”.

Say What??????

I tried the pull up once and ended up with a handful of tissue pieces from about 6 other tissues still remaining in the dispenser.

Good luck to the next person trying to extract just one full tissue! They get another handful of the remaining parts of the handful of tissues I had in my hand.

Imagine trying to place odd shaped pieces of tissue around a curved piece of plastic and having it stay.

Let me know how that is working for you!!

So let’s assume I manage to get one full tissue out of the dispenser; Remember, there was a matter of urgency going on here, but for the sake of argument I manage to remove a full tissue with a perforated semi-oval.

Now it just so happened that as I carefully removed the tissue sheet, a couple of the perforations came loose. I now have a droopy flap …half connected and half unconnected.

And my brain started to rattle around in my head.

Previously, I just placed the whole sheet, as-is, on the lid and let the force of nature sorta separate the oval at any place it desired.  In other words the “flap” was at the discretion of the duty at hand.

It could flap either way and I felt that it was sort of like fate….maybe it flapped listlessly to the front or perhaps it flapped listlessly to the back.  It really didn’t matter as it all went down the drain anyway.

But as I looked at this half connected flap, I wondered.

Just what is the purpose of this semi-detached piece of tissue? 

If it was meant to not be there when getting down to business, then why was it there at all?

Why were we, the users expected to be the ones to modify this tissue paper?

By this time, the urge was slowly fading so I decided to be a bit creative.

I decided to finish the tearing of the flap and let things fall where they may, front or back and then I proceeded to place the slippery tissue around the lid.

First thing I noticed was IT DIDN”T FIT!!!

Really?????

Nope, one size apparently does not fit all.

I turned the sheet of tissue around so that the flap fell to the back of the bowl.

It still didn’t fit.

By this time, my hands are coming in contact with places I did not want to touch.

I quickly glanced at the soap dispenser to check for availability.

Check! I could see it half full.

I looked for the hand dryer or paper towel holder although that was a minor concern….I could shake my hands dry after a good soaping and washing.

My main concern at the moment was the lid tissue and the door knob twisting as someone on the other side obviously had a need.

I did what any woman would do. I let the tissue slid lazily into the water bowl.

I remember once my Mother told me to tear off pieces of toilet paper sheets and place the little sheets strategically around the lid.

BUT, That never really worked for me! I could use up a half of a roll of toilet paper, because pieces kept falling into the bowl.

And in public places one is never guaranteed an extra roll…some don’t have one roll on the spool!

My last resort was to hover and squat, while trying to be careful of splatters….and yes, I did wipe up any stray drops and I used my leg to do a couple of leg lifts (I never miss an opportunity to exercise) as I pushed down the lever with my shoe.

I hurriedly washed my hands, rushing through the lyrics of the happy birthday to me song before grabbing the paper towels.

I looked around the room before leaving, making sure I had wiped down all surfaces I had touched….much like a thief would remove fingerprints at a crime scene….before using the paper towel to unlock and open the door.

I propped the door with my foot, tossing the used paper towel three quarters of the way across the room and into the waste basket as well as any basketball player.

I smiled at the lady leaning on the opposite wall of the door and left the building.

When I got home, I started researching those silly tissue papers!

In 1922, Cornelius J. Dykstra’s took out a patent for a disposable toilet seat cover.

“The invention includes a “flap adapted to extend down into the toilet bowl and to partially rest upon the water there-in, so when the toilet is flushed, the engagement of the flap with the water will cause the entire cover to be passed out with the flushing.”

I couldn’t find any mention of where the flap should go, front or back.

I did note that “experts” say the most hygienic way is probably not using a tissue cover at all, or even using sheets of toilet paper as this could actually increase the surface area of germs.

“If it is an exposed roll that might have encountered hands that are gripping it while a strip is being ripped off and those hands aren’t very clean then there is a chance that they may have transferred germs to the roll,” Laura Bowater, professor of microbiology at the University of East Anglia.

Also, I learned that the actual concern should be the toilet plume! The flush is of far more concern because the swirling water can send particles of “stuff” out into the air. 

That is why a closed lid is important before said flush.

However, I have never noticed a lid to close in public places.

So where does the flap go?

I really don’t know, but what I do know is experts (whoever experts are) have said the following:

If you want to avoid coming into contact with any seat bacteria, it is probably a good idea to learn how to hover!

I just thought inquiring minds would want to know!

Have a great day!