Insert Heavy “Sigh”, right here right now!
Because I made one of those errors in judgement, knowing there was a possibility that it might not end well.
I knew I shouldn’t do it, but I did it anyway.
I won’t keep you in suspense any longer, I will cut straight to the chase.
As you know, I am recuperating from a broken foot with doctor’s orders to keep weight off my left foot.
I did finally get permission to use my heel for balance on occasion, but only for balance in certain circumstances, which I will not detail at this moment.
My mode of transportation is my knee scooter, which has the cutest little basket on the front. (The Captain bought it for me shortly after my accident.)
I have to preface this by saying twin #1 and oldest daughter, have both cautioned me on going fast on my scooter, even though the temptation is there, because…. I have an almost bowling alley lane running from my office, down a hallway, past a guest bedroom, the utility room, another bathroom, the entrance to the garage, past the kitchen, through the foyer, past the living room and straight into the master bedroom, all in one l-o-n-g, long straight line.
All the rugs have been removed so the floor surface is all 18 inch square tiles.
My confession is, I can really zip right along with my good foot propelling me forward much like an Olympic skateboarder might do before he launches into one of those back flips coming back down on the board.
Really…. and clearly…. this was not my intent, but I will get to my story.
I had been drinking a cup of hot tea with my foot propped up when I suddenly realized the bottom half of my tea had gotten cold.
I went through all the rig-a-ma-role of removing my pillows and my foot from it’s propped position, turned my scooter towards the kitchen, picked up my cup of half full (I am the eternal optimist) cup of tea and placed it in my scooter basket.
Now, I have done this several times with liquids, usually with lids intact or empty cups, but on this day I decide to do it with the jiggling cup of liquid…and here is where common sense should have taken over….but, no, I am woman! I am in control! I know what I am doing.
I positioned the sloshing cup, surrounding it with my constant companion, the microfiber hand towel, which I never leave home without, because one never knows when one needs a small towel. Especially when one has to eliminate numerous trips to the kitchen or other areas of necessity due to one’s inability to maneuver easily.
Just as an FYI, my little basket also contains my cell phone, a tape measure, extra pair of reading glasses, cellophane packet of paper clips, Advil, Imodium, hand and body lotion, two ball point pens, a small notebook, an energy bar (or two), dental floss, magnifying glass, large comb, back scratcher, flashlight, an aluminum bottle of water with lid, a couple squares of paper towel and tissues, reading material, and a box cutter.
Hey, don’t judge! One never knows when one has to use box cutters.
Contents of my basket:
After I sat my cup in the basket, I noticed the Tea cup positioned a little higher than normal in the basket, (but I had this handled)… so I put my knee on the scooter and off I go with my right hand on the brake and my left hand on the handle bar.
I remember looking down at the cup, which is really starting to slosh over the hand towel….and my thought process was; at least it is sloshing on the towel which I can change out.
And then “IT” happened.
I took my left hand off the handle bar and reached to straighten the cup a bit (second mistake, the first mistake was the attempt to take half full cup) And the third mistake was not anticipating the front wheels hitting off the corner of one of the 18 inch square tiles that was a bit uneven.
The next thing I remember was flying forward hitting the handle bars with my chest (ouch) and feeling myself hurtling forward and to the right side of the scooter as the scooter turned over.
The next sequence of events are a bit of a blur.
The deafening crashing sound unmistakeable.
I could see my turquoise Fiesta tea mug flying through the air, along with all the other contents of my basket.
It was like a whirlwind reminiscent of a tornado funnel as each item landed on the Travertine tile at about the same time as I landed on the same.
Both shins, one elbow and one shoulder particularly, and one sad scooter laying on it’s side with wheels spinning.
I remember moaning and thinking about my broken foot and how I could not “protect” it from such a fall, as Jesse James came running towards me to see what all the commotion was about.
My dog is not As Talented As Lassie!
Let me just tell you that Lassie, he is NOT!
I love this tiny white pom, but all he did was look at me with his big brown eyes.
I knew he was not going to bark a couple times and then whirl around, open a door and run down the street to “fetch” help from Timmie or anyone for that matter.
He just gave me that look of “what are you doing on the floor? And is this in any way going to delay my dinner bowl?”...at which point he turned and walked slowly back to his bed pad.
I began to survey the damage, to myself first.
Nothing seemed broken that wasn’t already broken.
The huge boot cast with the air Jordan air pump on my broken foot seemed all intact.
I rubbed both my chins simultaneously as we often do when injured.
Both sore and a bit red, but ok.
I checked my elbow and shoulder.
Next came the amber colored liquid that I appeared to be laying/sitting in.
I managed to reach towards my overturned scooter and grabbed my hand towel, the only thing that remained in my basket.
I began soaking up the dribbles by flipping the towel at various spills on the floor.
Finally, I wiped down the scooter and turned it upright.
I instinctively looked for my cup hoping against all hope that it would be in tact.
It lay there on it’s side with the handle broken, the tea bag under the rung of a bar stool.
Now, came the hardest part.
Getting up from a sitting position, which I managed by putting the brake on the scooter and half lifting and half dragging myself up to a standing position.
Putting my banged up knee on the scooter, I then retrieved all my basket’s contents.
The moral of this story?
Check out the title of this post and let me rest with an ice pack on my shins, a heating pad on my shoulder and a wet wash cloth on my forehead while wondering how many times those skate boarders fell when practicing their jumps and flips.
A new cup of tea will come later.